Transparency...

 Why is it that as humans we want others to see us only at our best?  Do we think that showing others our struggles that we are showing them that we are weak?  I don't think so.  I think if we are not able to share with others our weaknesses and our struggles than we don't have any true friends or real connections with others.  I also believe that if we aren't able to share with others what we have gone through and how we have triumphed we are not contributing to humanity.  Perhaps it is uncomfortable and distressing to hear the truth.  But we can all relate to each other in some way if we share with others our true stories.  I just attended an event that was put together for a woman who has breast cancer.  She has three young children and a loving husband.  She is a beautiful person inside and out.  It was amazing to see many many friends, neighbors, old college friends, people from the community, come together to help this beautiful family raise money so that they will be able to fight for their cause; her precious life.  I am sure that if you asked each person who put in hours of service, donated goods and services, and attended this event-  each one would say that they felt it an honor to be able and help in some way- large or small.  Just imagine if this woman with cancer kept her struggles a secret.  If she decided that it was just to much to share or if it would be embarrassing to admit that they couldn't do it alone.  That they wanted to do everything they could to fight, but wouldn't be able to pay for what lay ahead.  She wouldn't have given hundreds of people the opportunity to serve and help her and her family- and we wouldn't feel the joy that comes from helping others and learning that in spite of our trials, we do the best we can.  When we help others - our lives become more meaningful and less mundane.  We are able to appreciate the simple things in life. We need each other.  We need to learn from each other.  It is important and valuable to know our stories- to share our stories with those around us.  When I know the stories- the real stories of those around me... I love them more. 

Fall Love...

It seems like about right about now... we are all confessing our fall love.  The vibrant colors from nature, the crisp, clean air, the spicy (yet, subtle) smells coming from fall candles, baked goods, soups on the stove, cozy sweaters,  and the yummy tastes of the food that warms and nourishes our bodies and spirits.  I wonder why we love fall.  Maybe it is because it awakens our senses.  When my senses are awakened I am more sensitive to my own thoughts and feelings and when I am in awe of the beauty that surrounds me, I more freely feel gratitude and thank Heavenly Father for his amazing creations.  This makes me happy.  I am so grateful for the wonderful creations of our Heavenly Father.  I am grateful to experience the change of seasons that brings new life and rebirth to not only the earth but to my own spirit.  I remember in the fall of 1996 a month after we got married, Josh took me on a Sunday afternoon fall drive up Emigration Canyon.  Mind you, I had lived in Salt Lake City for 3 years already while attending the University of Utah, but I never really appreciated the nature that surrounded me. As we turned the corner at East Canyon, the scenery took my breath away.  I was in absolute awe of the fall colors.  It warmed my heart and soul and made me fall in love with where we lived and appreciate the earths magnificent beauty.   This year, 16 years later, we took our kids on the same drive.  I explained to them how I felt that first time I opened my eyes and saw these breathtaking colors on the mountain, I am sure they ignored me or thought, "Here she goes again", but I know one day they will open their own eyes, like I finally did,  and it will take their breath away and they will feel God's love through his beautiful creations.

Hello Again...

Lately I have been thinking I need to start writing again.  It brings peace to my soul and reminds me of the blessings that I have.  Since I wrote last- a lot, I mean... A LOT has happened.  Hmmm... where do I start?  Well.  I had a baby and now she is almost 10 months old... sniff, sniff.   It was a great surprise to find out I was pregnant.  Okay, I am lying.  When I first found out I was pregnant,  I was shocked, terrified, and confused.  I really thought we were done.  Yes, I always had the desire to have more babies (that will never, ever go away, right?) but the hubs was really done and I was resolved (for the sake of our marriage) that- okay... sigh... we were done!  In fact we just had given away all the baby stuff a few months before- making it the final step towards accepting to move on (although, I have to admit, I couldn't let go of the baby girl clothes, just yet:).   Then ... SURPRISE!  I found I was pregnant.  Well, needless to say, it has been such an amazing blessing.  Our cherry on top...Mary Katherine.  She is an absolute joy, and well, I can't imagine life without her- and I know my husband would say the same.  There were a few other things/ trials/ I mean- big trials that we have gone through- that were also very shocking and very surprising- and they too, have made our lives fuller and richer- in different ways.  It is amazing how life can throw you a curve-ball sometimes, but it is up to us to step aside and avoid it or hit it head on and perhaps hit an RBI or sometimes even a home run.  Life is anything but easy- the older I get, the harder it gets- but with the challenges and trials- it has opened my eyes to what is most important.... One of my favorite quotes lately is;

Have A Great Day!!

Fragile...

I am listening to my six year old kindergartner, my three year old daughter, and 6 month old dog run around with joyful giggles filling the room.  It reminds me that I am blessed. 

I had a dentist appointment this morning-  thrilling!  At the chair next to me they were talking about losing babies,  in-vitro.    They each had their own stories to tell and it was heartbreaking to hear about.  I have been blessed in the child bearing depo.  I have great pregnancies with few glitches... and I feel great... I mean fabulous, most of the time I am pregnant.  I actually love being pregnant... (but that is another post).  I was thinking that we all have our struggles in different seasons and in different ways... and then the dentist came to check on her... and asked how she was doing and she said, "I am great!"   And it made me laugh a little... but really it made me think... that we all have our 'stories' our 'trials' that we hold close to our hearts (for good or bad) and we all are wounded souls one way or another... we all are fragile... and we need to treat one another with care.... like a package..."Fragile- Handle With Care".  We might not tell everyone our 'stories',  we might say we are 'Great'... and we really are... or we might be 'dying'  inside...  so today I am going to try and treat others with Care.

The Climb...

One of my favorite songs is 'The Climb'  by Miley Cyrus...yes, Hannah Montana.  I really love the message-  I always have and want my children to understand.... to 'Keep the Faith'.  Today this song seems very real, very true... because we are starting 'The Climb' and we are at the bottom of the hill.  So, we can't see the good that is waiting a thousand steps ahead.  It is the point that you want to throw up your hands and say, What now?    Where do you we go from here?  Where, we want a lighting bolt answer of what the answer is... but this is where Faith comes in... and it is hard.  Somewhere in the back of my mind... I knew it was coming... I mean... 'The Climb' and it has arrived.  I wonder if I am prepared for what lays ahead.  That is what we will find out, what we are made of... how strong we are... what we can withstand.  And this is what life is all about....  'The Climb'...  Wish me luck while I take the first few grueling steps.